It seems that apart for that kid there, my life is encased in a thick cloud of negativity. And I’m done with it. No, we’re not where we want to be. We’re not doing what we want to be doing. We’re not with who we want to be with. We don’t have the money to make the choices we want to make. But, we are here. This is our life. And I do not want to remember eden’s early years with regret. I do not want to remember simply waiting until ‘a better time’ because there are facets of this life that I will grieve when they are gone.
I love the stage he’s at, despite some of it’s difficulties. I love the new words that come tumbling out of his little mouth every day. Like ‘lellow’ (which can me hello or yellow) and ‘stuck’ (which he says whenever you put a blanket on him!). I love that cheeky grin he gives me as he hides behind his daddy’s legs when he knows it’s time to get that nappy changed. I love the glint in his eyes when he tries something ‘a little’ dangerous (like climbing the fence). I love it.
I love the countryside that surrounds us. I love having family I can stop in on around the corner. I love having friends’ with kids across the street.
And so enough is enough. It’s time to start focusing on the good bits.