Never striving to be “ok”

I picked up “Brave On The Rocks” tonight, for the first time in far too long. (if you don’t know Sabrina Ward Harrison, you should).

She wrote that she doesn’t wake up feeling alive. I know that one.

In fact, looking at her book made me comment to phil that I’ve never felt at home in our house, to which he agreed. That’s sad. I mean, I know that I’m melodramatic and prone to these sweeping thoughts and statements but if he agrees.. Well then it shows that sometime a couple if years ago, we decided that OK was enough.

True, it probably had something to do with the imminent arrival of our firstborn, and then the reality of phil going back to uni full time… And then poverty…and then pregnancy… But it’s still sad.

I used to take such pride in making my surroundings exude my personality (or perhaps my intended personality!) and although there was always mess… I loved it. Now, even clean I wish no one would come in and see it.

That’s another thing to add to our list of upcoming life changes.


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