snakes and ladders.

I’ve fallen off the wagon, hardcore. Last week I was the very image of self-change, discipline and progress – and it was healing.

And somehow, I fell off… and can’t seem to climb back on.

So my very organised list of SMART (*groan* I know) goals is being ignored. Which is sad, because I really want these changes to happen. I want to have a passport (from either country would help!), be naturalised, lose weight, and get my masters…

The weather doesn’t help. My emotional crash this past weekend doesn’t help. In fact, if I think about it for long enough, there are probably a kazillion excuses I could give. But the buck stops with me. Regardless of the excuses, the only one to gain and the only one to lose is me. So either I do or I don’t.

I think it’s another situation I should look at my kids. Caleb is 6 months old and already trying to crawl. He’s been trying for a month or so, but now he gets on his hands on his knees and rocks back and forth like he is going to take off. And he tries and he tries and he tries. And no matter how many times he falls on his nose, he will try again. That’s what babies do. For the most part, every baby will crawl. Every baby will walk. Every toddler will learn to communicate. And those are skills that are extremely difficult to concur – skills that involve a lot of failure first.


So kiddo, today I’m going to take your lead and get back on my hands and knees and try again.


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